Get Out of Town

I lathered little Styles with sunblock, slipped on his swimming trunks, topped him off with a sun hat, and made a run for the North. During my family’s recent visit, I wanted to share with them a place where the air is warm and the water is cool. Where else, but Glen Ellen! I know what your thinking, but they're from Hawaii! Different. The current heat wave had me dreaming of the pool.

My friendly gesture did not go over very well with my parents. As we drove over the Golden Gate bridge, which any normal person would oogle in awe, they were both slighted. My catholic kicked in and I felt guilty for uprooting them from the house. “Huh, it’s sunny here,” mom steadfast with her small conversation. I felt like I had performed a big fat juicy mortal sin. I wanted to please my parents. You know, be a lovely daughter for once. Besides they haven't been anywhere past Sausalito. I thought a nice drive and sightseeing would be harmless. Dad broke his silence and uttered, “The pastures’s brown here? Not enough water here? Where’s the cows?” Ugh, now I had to pull a cow out of my hat? I reminded them that there should be cows, I don’t know when, but they should appear soon.

We were twenty minutes into the drive when mom started to lose it, “Oh my god! It is so far away?” I thought her hair caught fire. “Daughter this is far,” dad was not entertained. “You said forty five minutes.” Mom vexed with apprehension. “It’s only been twenty minutes mom. Sheesh, I’m not driving to China or anything. Just chill.” I was plagued with questions. Sigh. My shoulders began to tighten. I pointed out the endless acres of grapes that shadowed our drive. “Grapes?” Mom was curious, “why so many grapes?” I reminded her that wine came from grapes and we were driving in a region that was world famous. “Oh yeh?” Dad scuffed, “Hmph. Wine? That's crazy.” He found it absurd and ridiculous. Mom was unimpressed. I dismissed the fact that my parents are very simple people. The only wine my parents sipped is the communion wine. Christ on a cross, why in the hell was I dragging them to Sonoma? If the gods are on my side, maybe they’ll fall in love with Glen Ellen too.

What started as a wonderful 45 minute drive, transformed into a bottomless pit of agony. On and on, I was battered with questions. Dad continued to moan about the length of the drive. They were two fishes on land. Flopping! How a glass of roset would alleviate this scene. Poof! I wished Shane was here to muddle the situation, but wishing’s for suckers. I’ll just have to deal. As I am finessed in the art of lethargy, my parents were proficient in the litany of labor. By mile 30, the thought of why I moved hundres of miles away became apparently clear. Although Hawaii is a paradise, it is still a rock. The locals can only handle no more than a twenty minute drive, anything beyond that is considered obscene.

Destination Glen Ellen. I grabbed Hunter and made a bee line for the pool. The rest of my family should be arriving soon. Things turned for the worse for mom as she paced with her arms crossed and was all sorts of odd quiet. If I had a valume, I would’ve slipped it in her water. You can quote me on that.

Finally, the rest of my family arrived! In the sky, I swear to virgin mary and all her cronies, a rainbow appeared across the sky! It was a sign! Phew! The kids tussled in the water. Dad waded in the deep end. Chloe did a little doggy paddle of her own. We cheered little Hunter as Shane dipped him in the crisp cool water. Another first! Yet, Mom sat under the umbrella arms crossed worried about dinner and who was going to cook.

Despite the squabbing and the mechanics of my infinite family dysfunction, I am lucky that we are together. The beutiful sunshine coating my brown skin with warmth as I dangle my feet in the water, I sip from the glass of roset, and Hunter is cozy in my lap. Relax. All is good in the world.

This is Shellie having a splash of a time back to you Bob at the studio!