Progress

It was 11:04pm, Vanessa and I stood at the foot of the bed. Concerto classical music eased the room as Aussie gently asked the male nurse for one moon boot. How boots from the 70s are beneficial to ventilation and sores, quizzed my head. The male nurse quickly returned with a device that was an exact replica of snowboard binding. She placed the boot on his right leg and reminded him to keep his right leg straight. As her days and nights are spent at his bed side, she was strong and driven. She was his root.

I, on the other hand, was a dam ready to break. I was a clutter of rusty pans. Now that he has opened his eyes, the last thing he needs is to see my blubbering ass. As I held his hand, my attempt to keep myself cool is as likely as digging a hole and making my way to China. His suffering was piercing. My sadness, hopes, and prayers were eroding my barricade. His eyes, those dark brown eyes filled with excruciating sadness. Why was he here? I questioned god and his purpose. “One” Metallica’s lyrics kept playing in my head.

“I can’t remember anything, cant tell if this is true or dream, deep down inside I feel to scream, this terrible silence stops me…fed through the tube that sticks in me, just like a wartime novelty, tied to machines that make me be…”

He stared into Aussie’s eyes, his hands caressed her arm. My walls gave into to tears. His eyes burned determination, strength and passion. They spoke in a deep gaze. Flame, a fire. She touched his cheek, he caressed her arm. It was all too much for my heart, sweet gestures heightened my sobbing. They were communicating unsound. The climactic violin solo did not help the situation much. I felt slightly out of place, it would be safe to say that I was uncomfortable. They were having a moment. A connection.

Here I was, just a friend, crumpled tissue in hand, weeping like an infant in damp diapers, as Aussie was firm and whole handed. Each visit my heart breaks. My soul is heavy. Each day he looks ten times better, but still the light at the end of the tunnel is far.

Shellie’s Proverb: Positive can be a dark and weary road

Aussie is unyielding, pushing Jonny to fight. She is the definition of perseverance, coaching Jonny to keep his right leg straight, to breath through his mouth, to cough. What can I say, she’s just effing amazing. Truly dazzling. Love can conquer many obstacles and I am a witness to this miracle. True love can prevail. It must. She is his guardian angel. She is his true love.

Lesson: Young grasshopper must allow absolute love to enter the heart.

Go Team Coldcuts!

It was the Spring of 84, I sat on the couch enjoying my usual 5:30am Looney Tunes session, munching on a bowl of apple jacks. It was a Wednesday. In a family of ten, it was the only time I could call the shots on the television. My Aunt Evangelina, fifteen years mom's elder, occasionally joined me on the couch trying to comprehend the color coated fiesta of pictures on the television.

This specific day, she collapsed to the floor and began to heave. I was flabbergasted. Mom and dad had already left to the flea market. Laurie, my middle sister, had abruptly moved out. My brothers were snoozing down stairs. Except for Neil and I, the rest of the family were Asthma prone. I fumbled around and handed her the spray, that usually does the trick, but this time it was different. She began to foam at the mouth and her sense of breathing was a struggle. Her hands began to tighten and stiffen.

I began to weep as I placed her head in my lap, the seconds ticked as I struggled to compromise time. I couldn't leave her like this, it could be the last time. I was frightened and hysterical. Her eyes full of water, and that sparkle in her eyes was fading. I quickly ran downstairs and woke Dave and Neil. Raving in complete idiotic mumbling gibberish, I couldn't get the words to escape my lips! Tears overflowed, but did not beckon the situation. They quickly ran to her side as I watched from the sidelines her chances of life seem dire. Neil dialed 911, but by the time the ambulance arrived Aunt Evangelina was gone. She lay in the middle of the living room where thirty minutes ago she sat next to me with her arm around me trying to understand why I found that rascally rabbit whose usual response was, "what's up doc?" so funny.

Shellie's Proverb: Friend and foe, never trust the hands of time.
During my Hawaii vacation, a very dear friend was rushed to the hospital and went under for two brain surgeries within 48 hours. As Shane shared the news, my entire body and soul became feeble. The gloom of severity was splashed across my sparkling canvas. Suddenly, the concept of a higher power God, Jesus and his posse of Saints, Allah, Spiritual Guides please, can I get your attention? Detour. Make haste. How quickly I have gone from atheist to religious fanatic. Bargaining with the gods, promising I'll go to mass, light a candle, stand on my head anything. Frankly, I could care less, it was more important for Jonny to fight through this; to heal.

As I meditatively floated in the warm ocean for endless hours, my thoughts and prayers were focused towards his recovery. Everynight before bed, Shane and I prayed together that the free spirit, moreover big jokester would recover. It is in difficult times like these where the tiniest gestures of goodness are transcendent. No matter how many times I've experienced other's suffering, I never get used to it.
**********
I had the pleasure of witnessing the miracle last night. As with the others that were present, his eyes were open and he waved when he saw both Shane and me. I was overwhelmed and honestly, I felt special that he was coherent and strong.

Life is fragile. You never know when it gives and takes. Mostly, I take a lot for granted like breathing and having the normal movements of my voluntary and involuntary body parts. The next time you see a friend or family member, give them a hug and well wishes for there might not be a next time. In my hearts of hearts, she knows that I love her, yet I regret never expressing it to Aunt Evangelina during her time with me.

Shane and I send all of our wishes, prayers, hopes, thoughts to Jonny for a positively strong recovery. Always know that you are well loved by many who have traveled near and far.

Lesson: A wise grasshopper must repeatedly give of oneself to achieve enlightenment.

Aloha

Young Master is recharging
on a beautiful beach
daily postings will be sparse
Do not fret little grasshoppers,
I shall return
with new teachings
on the 22nd

Professional Procrastinator

Hark, the countdown to paradise is at hand. Heed, I suspect a good thirty hours until our vacation. Tick. Tock. Estimated time of departure 6:45pm. Estimated time of arrival 9:04pm. I can't wait!

Roundtrip flight SFO to Honolulu w/car rental: $503
30 SPF Sunblock: $8
Sipping cocktails with Shane as the ocean washes over our feet: Priceless

Last week, I diligently arranged my weekend. Friday, I would get a good nights rest. Saturday, a healthy workout, laundry and packing. Voila! Sunday, mani pedi and the World Cup.

Shellie's Proverb: A business man without a watch is never on time.

R E A L I T Y:__________________________

Friday was a last minute girls night guffaw with a pleasant concoction of dinner and Devil Wears Prada. Saturday, I trifled with the thought of my chores, but the burst of sunshine was too delectable to ignore. Just when I thought I could get my affairs in gear, I was graced with an evening of jazz in Potrero Park and spent the remaining time with the Grundmans. Sunday, my mani pedi became secondary as the World Cup and sleep deprivation took precedence.

I, the magnificent procrastinator, now yield to the despair of the aftermath. The sunblock rests atop the hoard of clothes waiting to be crammed into the luggage. The gaggle of sundries that need gathering. Crucial and of utmost care, do not forget mom's party dress. In my attempts to crush my bad habit of packing 3 hours prior to departure, despite boxing, last minute dinner plans, and getting to bed early, my chances to progress are nil.

Lesson: To achieve harmony Grasshopper must wade in the tranquil streams of feng shui.

Kitchen Tango

About sevenish as I walked through the door from boxing. My senses alerted me that Shane had something cooking in the oven. It was beets! My favorite. As promised, he was supposed to get groceries while I was gone exerting my irritants. Rather, he did the dishes. As any normal wife would begin sassing, I've learned to curb my low blood sugar episodes.

Guys, one important advice from a former low blood sugar victim. If your just schlepping on the couch watching your usual sport and suddenly the head on your lady friend starts to spin and spastically spurt into a hogwash tirade about how the sky being gray is your fault. Suddenly, your the patsy and they're foaming at the mouth. It's not PMS, it's low blood sugar! They're hungry, but careful these creatures are persnickety. Very feisty those low blood sugar animals. So before the LBS starts to lacerate on the jugular of your kindness, retaliate and carry the right ammunition: healthy snack and quickly cram it into their mouths.

As Shane loathes Whole Foods we made way to Safeway. Safeway known for it's stale fish, I swiftly made haste to the meat section grabbed a tray of pork chops and beef rib eye. I was content with a beet salad, but my dear husband was out for blood. Lately, the sight of raw meat churns my guts, but enough about me. So we shoot back home and start the dinner ritual. Shane turns on the baseball game and takes a gander in the kitchen. Sir Inspector Kitchen traipses into my world of gastric, prying on the status of reductions and ingredients and how it will be incorporated in the meal.

Shellie's Proverb: One lobster's death can keep one family alive.

By eight, we've started on a lightly tossed micro greens and arugula salad topped with balsamic beets, hazelnuts and trifle of gorgonzola. In exchange for the meal, Shane hands me a simple chilled glass of lemon water. A mouthful of salad, Shane praises the glory of the salad. I head back into the kitchen to begin the final course and Shane joins me by rinsing the plates. We weave in unrehearsed synchronized movements. It's beautiful. He gives me the heads up on his golf schedule or the likes, and I update him on the upcoming dinners and events. He assists in the plating of the pork chop and swiss chard as I finish by drizzling apple brandy reduction. Like a broken record, he questions as to his portion is larger. Most days, I gently ignore him. Today, I remind him that his occupation is labor intensive. He chuckles. We sit and enjoy the meal together.

Besides waking up in his arms in the morning, preparing dinner is the second best part of my day. It is great to be Mrs. Kitchen.

Lesson: An accomplished grasshopper shall not fear the art of passion.

AdVenture

As I have a few tricks up my sleeve, it's been a long time coming. Meagan and I have been trying to see the project off the ground. We're collaborating on a venture, so all you capitalists please feel free to send your funds our direction. As I was born a superstitious freak, it's tip top secret. But when it premieres, it will be explosive. I've been adding my expertise to the matter and she has too, get ready world 'cause here we come! I left specific instructions with the receptionist to please hold all calls when Oprah decides to enter the building.

Shellie's Proverb: An opportunity requires wit.

I just spoke to Meaghan on the phone today. It's difficult considering the long distance element. Now, that I've landed the resources, the sky's the limit. Besides dealing with the novel project, which is almost complete, the pieces to our empire are coming together. It feels good to be an independent business woman. Shane is so proud, perhaps he will be hanging his tool belt to rest.

Lesson: A young grasshopper must be eager and catch the largest fish from pond with splintered chopstick.

Thank you!

As I am always contacted by brides to be and wives, my insignficant ramblings have tickled many of you women and men alike. My feature on the Knot, Wedding Channel and Modern Bride, has caused a bit of a stir. In fact, some of you have been following my premature foot steps, prior to my marriage. As I am thoroughly thrilled that my nagging have captured attention from all of you. As captivating as it is to write in cyberspace, I am clueless as to who my readers are. It's like stapling my daily's on every telephone posts for all the world to see. Certainly, that's alot of paper.

Shellie's Proverb: It's usually the master that needs a muzzle, not the dog.

I would like to thank the academy for allowing me the opportunity to voice and speak my mind. I would like to thank my family, my friends and especially the almighty god for allowing me the talent to articulate. To the readers who have left comments, positive and negative, all the same I appreciate your interest in my ramblings. Please keep them coming!

Lesson: A grasshopper must be thankful for all the grains of rice in his bowl.

Hawaii Five O

We are six days away from leaving for Hawaii to partake in the celebration of my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see my family! I haven't seen them since the wedding. They can't stop talking about the wonderful time they had in Kauai!

It is dé·jà vu all over again, planning another destination wedding. A lot of moving pieces, but not as hectic as last year. The primary factor was gathering funds for the reception. Considering last years debacle, I was well prepared to head the planning. As much as budget is key, yay our budget is very lean.

Shellie's Proverb: A wedding is brief a marriage is forever.

The family's pitching in to make ends meet. Chris, eldest, is doing the center pieces. The Albins, the fifth sibling, is burning the music on the CD(s); our favors. Nolan, youngest, is doing the decorating. Alvin, third eldest, is handling the food and vendor. Everyone else is filling in where they can. I designed and distributed the invitations, and created the artwork for the CD inserts and cover. As I am big saavy sop on Photoshop. Furthermore, mom will be so thrilled to see the dress I got for her. Whoopee!

It's all coming together. I'm looking foward to the once in a lifetime event. Mom and Dad are so excited for the family's homecoming. Most of all, they should be more excited for the big five oh.

Lesson: A humble Grasshopper in order to advance foward you must remember where you came from.

Happy Birthday, America!

July 4th 1776, democracy was thrown into the birth canal of our independence. Come one, come all immigrants and live the american dream.

The 4th of July softball game and barbecue started without me. As normal, it was a huge event of six teams competing for the title of 2006 best. My highlights are minimum, as I sat in the bar waiting for Italy or Germany to make a flippin' move for two hours. Sadly, I missed Shane's phenomenal hit and accidental slip into third base. Hands down MVP, the talented and dedicated Hope. Last year, she injured her knee from a super power slide and boasted crutches at my bachelorette party in Vegas. This year, she continued to stupefy her competitors. Playing the part of a fair umpire, the one and only Tim! Stylishly sporting a white sport coat, plaid pants, blue sneakers complimenting his blue button down cowboy shirt. As dogs and a good hundred people sat in the cool shade, the teams kicked up dust and played a great game!

Shellie's Proverb: A team that plays without rules has no game.

Besides stuffing my face with Angela's yummy turkey burgers and chicken satay, it was delightful to see faces I haven't seen in years especially from Fasties cronies! Plus, everyone's kids are sprouting like weeds. Randy, of Toni and Randy, is pregnant so it was a real treat to get her insight to the world of preggers! I enjoyed catching up with everyone. Although the absence of close friends were sorely missed, it's still a great 4th.

Lesson: An independent Grasshopper must learn to live insecticide free.