Progress

It was 11:04pm, Vanessa and I stood at the foot of the bed. Concerto classical music eased the room as Aussie gently asked the male nurse for one moon boot. How boots from the 70s are beneficial to ventilation and sores, quizzed my head. The male nurse quickly returned with a device that was an exact replica of snowboard binding. She placed the boot on his right leg and reminded him to keep his right leg straight. As her days and nights are spent at his bed side, she was strong and driven. She was his root.

I, on the other hand, was a dam ready to break. I was a clutter of rusty pans. Now that he has opened his eyes, the last thing he needs is to see my blubbering ass. As I held his hand, my attempt to keep myself cool is as likely as digging a hole and making my way to China. His suffering was piercing. My sadness, hopes, and prayers were eroding my barricade. His eyes, those dark brown eyes filled with excruciating sadness. Why was he here? I questioned god and his purpose. “One” Metallica’s lyrics kept playing in my head.

“I can’t remember anything, cant tell if this is true or dream, deep down inside I feel to scream, this terrible silence stops me…fed through the tube that sticks in me, just like a wartime novelty, tied to machines that make me be…”

He stared into Aussie’s eyes, his hands caressed her arm. My walls gave into to tears. His eyes burned determination, strength and passion. They spoke in a deep gaze. Flame, a fire. She touched his cheek, he caressed her arm. It was all too much for my heart, sweet gestures heightened my sobbing. They were communicating unsound. The climactic violin solo did not help the situation much. I felt slightly out of place, it would be safe to say that I was uncomfortable. They were having a moment. A connection.

Here I was, just a friend, crumpled tissue in hand, weeping like an infant in damp diapers, as Aussie was firm and whole handed. Each visit my heart breaks. My soul is heavy. Each day he looks ten times better, but still the light at the end of the tunnel is far.

Shellie’s Proverb: Positive can be a dark and weary road

Aussie is unyielding, pushing Jonny to fight. She is the definition of perseverance, coaching Jonny to keep his right leg straight, to breath through his mouth, to cough. What can I say, she’s just effing amazing. Truly dazzling. Love can conquer many obstacles and I am a witness to this miracle. True love can prevail. It must. She is his guardian angel. She is his true love.

Lesson: Young grasshopper must allow absolute love to enter the heart.