Baby Boom

I am two months away from joining the ranks of selected family and fellow friends. So excited I could pee my pants! Not so quick you parents who have circled us like vultures waiting to feed on our carcass or I shall douse you with holy water and garlic bulbs. Hiss! How you've persuaded us to join your kind for years, "Kids are so fun. It's the best! It'll change your life." Here we are at the edge of the deep abyss ready to plunge into the dark hole of changing dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, tolerance, frustration, conflict, and all the unknown creature habits that hides in the future.

It is pleasing to know that Kitchstar will have fellow cohorts. Firstly, the Kriegsmen who are new parents to David and the Brooke family on their special special baby boy Jasper. Not to go unmentioned are my pregger females, Allison and Jamie, that were also suckered into pregnancy. Finally, a big "congratulations" to the Benjamins
Meaghan "the wrecking machine" Benjamin. The same day she popped Stella, her third and surely not last, out she was on the phone making calls and a shnazzy website full of photos and clips followed. If ever there was a mother that exuded the true word, it would be her. This women works a full time job, part time job, mother,and wife. She's all natural, galaxies from uptight, I might even go as far as to exclaim that she's an inspiration. She is the frosting on the the cake.

Shellie's Proverb: Do not ask a lion for a handout when it's feeding it's cub.

I am fortunate to have such well rooted friends and family. I can't wait to compare, compile and complain with my fellow mothers. I'm sure Meaghan is the "go to" as she is fully experienced with the art of raising children. I'd love to look to my mom, but she comes from a different generation. A generation of "no fuss" and my questions may bring on a tidal of prepostrous comments. When mom pays her visit, she will go over her Mother 101 recourse. I can hear her first advice to me, "just let him or her cry." Them hard words from a mother of ten will probably be the most important advice given. Until than I am just thankful that there's a gaggle of babies that will hopefully create the same bond as their parents.

It'll be difficult not to be fully paranoid with my first child, but I will try my best not to be a psychotic hypocondriac misophobic freakazoid and I will look towards the veterans for insight. In the meantime, we hope that our friends will follow suit into the interesting world of parenting. You know who you are. Smile. I embrace this miracle and all the nonsense that comes with it, because in the end it's all worth it.

Lesson: A sly Grasshopper must not slurp noodles like soup.

Third Trimester

I have entered the zone that many other females have dared entered before, the 30th week zone. Ten more weeks, give or take, and counting! Ten! Ten more weeks and our life is changed forever! Forever! Shriek! We're thrilled, but at the same time we have no idea of the whirlwind impact Kitchstar will bestow. This is huge! Monstrous! We've been warned that one can never be ready for the arrival of a baby. I believe it! Simply put, sleep deprived is a precursor for havoc in other departments of my existence. Shane and I are taking advantage of sleep as much as possible. We, naive individuals, enter the unknown frontier of parenthood.

Otherwise, my pregnancy has been enjoyable thus far. Despite my former lower back pain which is non-existent...knock on wood ...I'm back on track. Thankfully, yoga and pilates miraculously healed this trauma. Hallelujah praise Jesus. I'm a believer. So far, so good. It's been a pleasant pregnancy. More and more, Kitchstar's playing drum rolls in my belly. It is absolutely amazing! I 'll try to get Shane in on the action, but the baby seems to move faster than a hare on wheels. It's tricky this one.

Shellie's Proverb: Laughter will bring lightness to your life.
The diabetes is, for the most part, being maintained by diet, exercise, and insulin oh my! Sure I have my bouts of depression usually after I inject my belly with insulin, but Shane always reminds me that it could be worse. He reminded me of our quickness to conceive. He proceeded to remind me that we have someting special. He was right. He's always right. That's what so great about him. He always knows what to say. Smile. I am hoping that the third trimester gods is as generous as they were in the past two. It has been a pleasure!

Lesson: Grasshopper must learn to swim before he can skip stone on lake.

Birthtastic

My three day weekend was complete with baby information overload. Shane and I enrolled in a 2 day baby intensive class over at Natural Resources. Boy, were we in for a surprise. Shane grumbled about how spectacularly beautiful the day was and here we were stuck in a birth class full of neo natural nerds. I knew in the frontal cortex of his brain that he'd rather be sipping a brew on some golf course, if I’d guess correctly Stonetree with his boys. Humph, and I’d rather be on a beach in the Cayman Islands; so in love, we suffer together. Our friend Tracy, doula extraordinaire, taught the class. We went around the room of six couples and introduced the other couple that we were interactively paired off with. Let the fun begin. Smile.

As Tracy, in all her wealth of information, played real birth videos, compliments of nausea, my spine curled into the chair. Yikes and triple axel yikes! Hold the caffeine, because here cometh the placenta! What the hell? Gulp. I gulped so hard, I thought my eyeballs were going to evaporate into my head. As I've mentioned the shrinking idea of romanticism and pregnancy, birth was the mother load of all “Oh shits!” A whole new world cracked opened before me. I knew it wouldn’t be walk in the park, but gosh darn up an apple tree, birth was blatant. I was bullets loaded on getting an epidural, yet reality struck me down like a storm of flatulence. A cesarean? Not, if I can help it. Did you know when a child is not passed vaginally the newborn’s immune system is vulnerably pedestrian? Water birth, now that’s a Water world for mom and baby -despite the fecal matter- I believe I was sold.

Shellie’s Proverb: A dog’s sincerity is his sniff.
Essentially, the class provided valuable information pertaining to birthing alternatives. It also allowed us to prepare and to expect. Birth is one big bad wolf. I am all about taking the easy way out so shoot me up with the narcotics and let this baby go. Until I attend this class, needless to say, I'm weighing my options, and boy is it heavy. Am I strong enough to do this drug free? As Kitchstar is sprinting its way to the finishing line, I've got some decisions to make. Let’s face it, I’m a real frightster, but deep down inside this little shell of mine, I am strong. I have proven myself time and time again that my determination supersedes my fear. Besides, I have the greatest person in the whole world there to support me. My sweet husband.

Lesson: A strong grasshopper must balance on chopstick to feel balance.

Hearthrob

Today is Valentines Day. The day most men dread more than facing the deathly jaws of a great white shark. Basically, Doomsday to be exact. As every women relates Valentines day as "their" day, I've given into the opposite. In the past few years, I've become numb to the fact that Shane doesn't bring home flowers on such an occassion. According to him, and every other male, it's too forced. To keep my spirits high I'll, more often than never, purchase flowers for myself. Maybe my husband is right...we shouldn't be prompted to be romantic just because it's Valentines day. We're pretty cheesy most of the time as it is. It could make an elephant sick. Blush. I've decided to take matters into my own hands.

Today, I've opted for a movie over dinner. There's nothing special about a pre-fixe menu. All I want is to see the new chick flick with my favorite heart throb Hugh Grant in Music and Lyrics. Opening night is tonight and I purchased the tickets yesterday compliments of Fandango. Because he is being coerced to attend a movie on opening night, his efforts are my bliss.

Shellie's Proverb: A man with too many roosters doesn't know how to lay an egg.

Now for my contribution to the romance department. I thought about getting him something nice like clothes, shoes, or a hat, although that was as heartfelt as a bathroom carpet. I had already bought his Valentines day card last month, but what now? Shane has a sweet tooth the size of the original sin. In fact, last night he slopped a few heaping tablespoonfuls of peanut butter and swirled it into his vanilla bean haagen dazs and plopped on the chaise lounge and "ooed and awed" and swooned over every taste. He held the spoon to my face to tryst me into a tiny bite of this heavenly morsel. The devil that he is! He is the devil. I'm sure he meant no harm, but I can't even afford to do the foxtrot with chocolate.

With that in mind, I traipsed down to the Ferry building and purchased a box of selected Recchutti chocolates yesterday. All filled with his favorites, peanut butter chocolate pucks, chocolate honey comb, a bag of caramel almonds, home made marshmallows (to die for!!). I knew he would appreciate this sweet gesture. Before I left this morning, I left the card and the sweets on the table. Despite my minimal hormonal tearful breakdown last night in bed, it was a sign of love and maturity. Most of all, it is his happiness that rules my heart.

Lesson: A Grasshopper that learns to share his dim sum will master the way of kindness.

Placid

Today, I had my follow up appointment regarding my diabetes. It's pouring rain in my soul. I walked from the hospital to the BART station in a slow motion haze. After spending an hour and fifteen minutes with the doctor going over my understanding of meal management and how to use a syringe, my heart could not take it anymore. I succeeded in managing to keep my blood glucose down with food, yet it my body is not producing enough insulin in my sleep. Therefore, I am urged to introduce insulin into my body before I go to bed by way of injection in the stomach. Sob. Not only am I on a restricted diet and having to prick my finger four times a day, but I have succumbed to a syringe filled with a light dose of insulin.

I am morosely moved by this news as I have tried my best to control this condition. Unfortunately, this is beyond my control. Sniffle. Such is life. In the flames of my hormones, I have to mortar myself together. It is in my nature to hastily becme numb, but the dreary weather is inducing me to crumble to my knees on this filthy sidewalk on Valencia and sob feverishly. I need to feel this sadness. It's normal. On a Friday, no less, I should be jumping for joy, because the weekend is at my feet. Not today.

Shellie's Proverb: A wet log can not make a fire.

I paid a phone call to mom to bear the bad news. Mom's not great at receiving bad news, as she quickly wished me good health and love and quickly got off the phone. That was her way of dealing with it. As I can wish as the rain does fall that she was in closer proximity than Hawaii, these are the times that I could use her arms for comfort. It could be worse. It could be detrimental. Think about the children in Africa and AIDS. Think about the women who are unable to bear children? Think about the families that have lost loved ones? All I can do is feel sorry for myself. I never do. Today, I am giving myself the opportunity to go through that process. I don't need a consolation prize. I'm just caught in the line of the hormonal cross fire and licking my wounds. Whatever it is, it still pangs me. I'm not receiving any phone calls today. I'm turning off my ringer. Tomorrow is a new day and it will all be better. Tonight I have a hot date with my husband, we're catching an early dinner and a movie. Chin up. Shoulders back. Smile. Tomorrow's a brand new day.

Lesson: A wise grasshopper must learn to lose battles in order to win.

Stretch I'm Strong

I am a woman and more or less vain, therefore, I am fighting the good fight against pesky stretch marks. I've read that you could circle the moon backwards and hop on one foot and recite the constitution in mandarin, although it all simmers down to genetics. So I think to myself, "Self? Does mom have stretch marks?" She had ten kids, but I don't recall white claw marks on her belly. I don't recall, but I could ultimately be mistaken.

In the meantime, I drink at least 10 glasses of water, if not more, a day to keep my skin fluid. I grease myself with coconut oil, cocoa butter lotion, and other concoctions that lead to a stretch mark free body. I'm not going to sit back and take it. It's not inevidable. If I get stretch marks, I can honestly say that I've tried my darndest.

Shellie's Proverb: An ant at a picnic never goes hungry.

Furthermore, a gradual weight gain also helps in managing the minimal amount of stretching. Since I have to watch what I eat and stay fit, than I'm one foot ahead of the game. These are the things that keep me up at night. Not really, but it is a concern of mine as I am somewhat superficial. I admit it, I am a victim to hollywood and all those celebrities that bounce back hours later after getting a c-section. The pressure. Once again that's hollywood and I am far from a celebrity.

In a world of false perfection, I am truly far from perfect. In my practice to not become a full time schlump, you can stress my concern for stretch marks. Maybe the root of my problem is that I need to realize that it's not my exterior shell, but my interior that needs looking into.

Lesson: Grasshopper must possess goodness in order to fight evil.

Third Trimester

The big twenty seven! Twenty seven weeks that is. I am all belly, and I am entering the wide open field of the third trimester. Gulp. I am racing towards the finish line. As Kitchstar starts to make itself at home in my womb, I am thrilled to pieces. The kicking and bopping is getting stronger and I look forward to each movement. A homage to communication, between mother and child. It's a trip! I'll put Shane's hand on my belly, hoping he could feel it and experience my excitement, but an outsider couldn't fathom the alien pod experience. It could creep any normal person out, for a second. Shane tries to relate, but there's no way, but I appreciate his attempt. Smile.

In honor of my progress, my walk is beginning to transition into a waddle. You know that walk that pregnant women have to keep from tipping over. Sort of like a weeble wobble. It hasn't gotten to that point yet, but I'll be there soon enough. Believe me, I'm in no hurry to walk like a duck. As I have concealed my pregnancy with the color black, my waddle will soon give me away. On the upside, I have waddled my way up and down hills to contribute to a healthy pregnancy. In order to strap this diabetes down, I have become more restricted on my diet and more aggressive with my cardio. Of course pilates and yoga is fine, I feel that my body benefits further if I walked at least thirty minutes a day. It's tough trying to keep myself healthy. I'm finally taking responsibility for someone besides myself so being selfish doesn't have it's place, at present.

Shellie's Proverb: An apple is only as sweet as the person's palette.

As I was saying, I'm not sure what to expect in the next thirteen weeks except to get larger. Even though my diet has become the nucleus of my daily, to look on the bright side, I've lost a few pounds. Yipee! In the meantime, we have signed up for childbirth intensive two day series. Sue McDonald recommend that first time parents attend these classes to educate ourselves on birthing and parenthood. I'm sure Shane can't wait to sit there from 9:30am to 1:30pm for two days. He expressed his motivation by a ten second silence on the end of the line ending in, "Two days? On a weekend? Is it like lamaze? What is it?" "I'm not sure, it was expensive and we shall see," I responded.

I am hoping that the third tri will be as fly as my second. I know I am being utterly delusional, but it's good to dream. In the past few days, my energy level has dropped immensely, and I'm hoping the third tri doesn't toss me into the wind of regression. I am making an appointment with my acupuncturist to make sure my body energy is flowing correctly.

All in all, I have embraced pregnancy for what it is. Beauty, strength, love and change. The sight of my naked belly after a shower still baffles me, because from backside you wouldn't be able to tell and than wham! Yet, I am no different from any other pregnant women. It sounds a bit hippy sappy, but I am elated that I am harboring a wonderful being. Moreover, I am grateful that I share this sunshine with Shane. I can sleep well at night knowing I did not coerce him into a corner to have Kitchstar. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found someone so golden. The countdown to meeting the little star begins. I'm so delighted. I can't wait.

Lesson: A Grasshopper who knows not how to eat with chopstick shall go hungry.