Slim vs. Smile

September is upon my heels, and there’s so much that’s happened. What can I say except that I’m a lousy blogger. No I take that back, I am not lousy just lazy. To keep you up to date, I can say that Styles has been smiling, speaking baby in his gurgling ways. It's, how can I say, magical! Magical! Besides, trying to fit into my deep abyss of pre-pregnancy wardrobe, is a big to do! And I thought I was chunky before the pregnancy. Chuckle. These days I'd be lucky, if I can get my pants past my knees. (A mild exaggeration...a little higher in the thigh region.)

I’ve been driving across town to the Marina to cinch my ever growing waistline at the Dailey Method or as a friend would like to call it the Jane Fonda work out. It’s an hour of great music and women determined to hold on to their youth with me included. Big plus, they have childcare! Sigh. Yes, and I even gave in to purchasing lullulemon gear. Hell, Jill the owner, is practically the spokesperson. I fell into the peer pressure. I just wanted to fit in.

Some mother's are lucky, they push their baby out and "whap" just like that, they're abs are back in play! I, on the otherhand, am slightly cursed. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny. I'm a marsupial. I have a fanny pack. A pouch. A pooch. A bulge of fun. If I could lose ten pounds, I would be good. If I could lose twenty, I would be perfect! Problem is, losing two pounds is like a prayer to god. So I ask myself, "I say self? What can I change? Increase cardio? Take up jumping rope perhaps? Sprinting? Weights? Diet?"

I've been bashing my head trying to figure out my error in ways. I think it''s my diet. I love food. I'm a foodie! A former chef (when I say chef I mean a line cook) what can I say, I live in one of the best culinary cities. I’m taking three hour lunches at my favorite haunts like Bar Bambino, Boulettes Larder, Delfina Pizzeria, Salthouse polishing off a couple glasses of roset only to follow up with a nice kid portion of malt ice cream at Bi-Rite creamery the best homemade organic ice cream this side of the Mission. By then, I’ve put back the calories I attempted to ditch that very morning so I do a couple laps around Dolores Park.

As we are planning on our second sometime soon, I want to make sure my body is a slender machine. Studies have shown that gestational diabetes will not occur in women that is slightly under weight. Hence, my want to lose my fanny pack. My pouch. My pooch. My bulge of fun. I enjoyed my last pregnancy, but I didn't enjoy the gestational diabetes aspect not one tidbit.

I realize that I am different. I am not that woman with a resilient abs of steel. I have to work harder. I have to watch what I eat. Or eat less. Or eat more often, but in small portions. All the same, I heart food. So I say, "Self? You must increase the cardio" So when Styles recognizes my voice when I call his name and his eyes light up and his mouth curls into a super smile. My heart does a triple axel somersault. My eyes brighten. I am awe inspired. I want to carry him in my arms and fly to the moon and back. I say to myself, "Self, I’ve got it damn good!" Sigh. I love being a mom! I have absolutely no agenda except to spend precious time with Hunter. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Sure I could lose some weight, but my weight has taught me to be patient. Besides, the flattest abs will never make me feel as golden as when my son smiles.

This is Shellie's heart skipping a beat back to you Bob at the studio.