Resolve me from my sins

Dearest Humble New Year,

I have succeeded to greet you free of hangover, hunger and heartbreak. I have a loaded gun full of resolutions as my positive girlfriend Sophia has relabeled them "goals":

1. PMS is an inexcusable excuse.

2. Neat and organized. Specifically, I will pick up after myself, but that does not include scrubbing tubs.

3. Respectful, to get to planned gatherings punctual and on time.

4. Maintain mischievous manner.

5. Since motherhood will be quite strapping, I will live this year like one big disco party.

6. Pamper. Facial, manicure, pedicure and massage.

7. Browse. I will not purchase a one sensationalized celebrity gossip literature, I am allowed to browse through the pages while standing in grocery line.

It's true that the above statement has been recorded, but I still burn in the flames of: apparel, accessories, handbags, shoes and movies.

Lesson: Grasshopper it is wise to set hurdles in your daily life, it doesn't mean you have to attempt to jump over them.