Oink!

I have made it through the first three months by the skin of my teeth! Hallelujah! Sigh. I'd like my medal now so I can proceed with my speech. Smile. My snooze fest is on hiatus as my weight gain snowballs. I have gained seven pounds in one month. Seven pounds! One Month! Scream! Weep. I am trying not to find an excuse to eat everything in sight, seriously! Just 'cause I'm pregnant doesn't give me the right to treat my body like a garbage dump. In the past few weeks, I've gladly welcomed glazed doughnuts, dulche de leche ice cream, egg mcmuffin, and pumpkin milk shakes and justified my leisure to the extra curricular foreigner in my belly. Christ on a stick, these are foods that are so alien to my body, but I'm consuming calories like a blonde does bleach. I don't want to be that class of pregnant women that finds every excuse to have a banquet of a snack. I would love to, although my metabolism is as slow as a constipated tortoise. Certainly mom's popped out ten kids and is slender as a popsicle stick, but my dad has a pouch a pooch can love. I, Shellie Kitchen, unfortunately take after my pop. Frown.

Shellie's Proverb: A pig that doesn't share is a hog.

I want to be those brilliant pregnant women that take charge and exercises fastidiously and psychotically. We've all witnessed these women in spinning class that is cycling their way to Timbuktu. How about the overly ultra conscious environmental spiritual granola mother? The one that's preparing her limbs and organs for birth via yoga. My personal favorite is the expecting mother that is working her biceps, shoulders, triceps with cables and free weights. I want to be that Nike women too gosh darn it!

As my cupboards and refrigerator are gushing with organic and free range absurdities, my appetite strays into the deep and dark. If I keep this up, I will turn into a real bleeper and I can not. I refuse to fall. I have prepared a beautiful regiment of exercise and meals to keep baby and me healthy. Since I work across the street from 24 hour fitness, I will tackle my cardio and work out on my lunch. I've done it before and I can do it again. In my head, the schematics are clean! But suddenly the flavor of a super quesadilla is sinking in, must learn to....fight...the urge...must be....strong.

Lesson: A keen grasshopper must walk in the shadow in order to see the light.