Contempt

Living in San Francisco comes with its perks and pests. In this case, getting Hunter into a nursery program is ridiculous. I’ve been advised by members of the higher echelon to submit applications as soon as birth. For some, during pregnancy. I thought these claims were frivolous, until I realized the absurd demand for a well rounded curriculum that is San Francisco. Let’s start with the momsters, they travel in mobs with their little angels duds and diet consisting of nothing less than organic. The fellowship of momsters have a mental diagram, plotting on the highest aspirations for their privileged spawns; baby ivies. The crummiest of all momsters is the “momster dearest” accessorizing herself with children like a pair of Cathy Waterman earrings, but abandons all responsibilities to the nanny. Vulgar. What's my point? Like an army of ants to a crumb, San Francisco is going through a grotesque baby epidemic! Hence, has created a bit of congestion in the nursery arena.

I vividly recall my former boss – nickname stepford for her overzealously trite personality - bursting with orgasmic delight over her daughter’s acceptance to an exclusive jewish preschool. Dumping a bucket of water on her would probably result in a short circuit. She was over the moon like her daughter had just been accepted into Harvard. Prior to acceptance, she had interviewed with all the top nurseries making sure it was the right one that would kick start her daughter for success. I assumed the Congregation Emanu-El had the best curriculum in finger paints.

As I’ve started my trek into the system, I was startled by the year and a half to two year waiting list. What should have been simple became the latter. I have my work cut out for me. After a healthy research in programs, we completed the applications along with the non-refundable fees. Shane and I have appointments to visit these institutions to get a feel for their philosophy and curriculum. Now and again, I have to remind myself that it’s just preschool: crayons, gardening, yoga, potty accident, watercolor, read time, construction paper, sing-a-longs, and play. On the contrary, the sought out nursery program (proper term is early childhood) leads to a matriculation process into a decent private kindergarten program requiring curriculum vitae. If you ask me, it's supercilious. Regardless of all the frippery and flam, there’s one vital element –with high impact- the most prestigious school can never instill and that is a good home. As parents, we are committed to establish a deep root of goodness and strength in solid ground.