Female Lesson #1

Flashback: I’m 22 years old living in the lower haight with live in boyfriend from New York. To make our relationship work, it would only be healthy that he cut down on the alcohol. Well, he did drink a fifth of vodka on the daily. If you don't know what a fifth amounts to it’s 25.6 fluid ounces which breaks down to 1.6 pints of vodka. This he drank as if he was parched for 40 days and 40 nights in the Theben desert. His second apertif, was vodka stirred with more vodka. It was like dating a skitzophrenic you just never knew if you were talking to the 8 year old that lives on a farm or the vegetarian transvestite from Idaho. It was madness! Yep, I must admit he kept me on my toes and I was never bored. Instead of walking out the door, I wanted to play mother martyr. Bite me, I was 22 and I learned fast.

This has been a recurring event with women in history. Now, why do we, as strong independent women, find the need to always fix our men? We, ourselves, are far from perfect. We're equipped with emotion and estrogen which triggers a deadly medley of weaknesses such as insecurity, bloating, binging, oversensitized, paranoid, analytical. In fact, flaws can be cute like freckles to a certain extent. I mean if your man has monogamy issues, that’s when you leave him on the doormat. Otherwise, what's up with women being such control freaks? Always wanting the upper hand, the last word. Why?

Why must we cast a stone? I don’t like to be reminded about my characteristics as being imperfect. Just like the local hawaiians say, “just go wid da flow bra.” Shrug your shoulders. Pointing out people’s weaknesses is so demeaning and a prelude to a complex. Any angle you look at it, it's not pleasant.

Shoe switch: Girl your getting fat! No wonder! You stuff your face with fried chicken, ice cream, burgers! Go to the gym! You look like shit!

We as woman, need to stop dictating and enjoy what we have, because it's exausting. I mean just accept him for who he is. If a women feels more despise than adoration, that's when it's time to go. Please, with all the whining, yapping, nagging and complaining that we do? It's a miracle we don't have a bullet in our head. All should be equal and fair when it comes to love.

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."

Shane, has his quirks and I have mine. Sure, sometimes their like nails on a chalkboard, but I deal with it. I mean he has to tolerate my slop on different levels. Who else would? Honestly, I like his endearing quirks. His intentions are always good and that's all that matters. Love has many facets and each angle is just as beautiful as the others.

Lesson: Grasshoppers should always love without opinion.