All I Want for the Holidays...

Shane’s been under the gun in search for the perfect gift for me. So much so that his teeth are going to rot and fall out and his eyeballs are going to shrivel up and plop out of sockets, if he doesn’t stop these ridiculous stress seizures. I don't want anything for Christmas. What could I ever want? He's fluent in managing my bliss. He flipped the coin for our wedding. He's building our dream home. Plus, he volunteered to be my prisoner for life without any coerce. I know, hurl on my circus, I'm getting soft! But really, he's pretty much covered me for the next ten years...well, alright maybe for the next five years. Giggle.

Flashback: April of ninty four roommate's friend inquires on my whereabouts the Tuesday of last. He vaunts that my boyfriend was at DNA with an asian girl. My hearts sizzles on a dirty griddle. Cursed! Damnit heaven and hell! I've caught my cute boyfriend with english accent in a lie. I psychotically page him, if I could I would have paged him many series of f*ck you(s), but instead settled for numerous 911(s). He finally calls with calm tones of "lets talk about this your jumping to conclusions". I threaten his illegal existence with deportation subsequent to my snipping his balls off first. Finally, he admits to the two year affair. Indeed, three months into our two year relationship. Instantly, rearing it's wretched head from the depths of my darkness is the lunatic female. Pity the next few boys after this guy for they have suffered the wrath of my new enemy; insecurity.

I have found the best heart to burrow my happiness into. I have a man that makes me laugh in the middle of the night, because he converses in flatulence. He adores me even in the shadow of my dorkiness like when I purposely sing off key just to drive him up the wall. My husband lets me cry when I'm feeling down and engulfs me in his arms and tells me that tomorrows a new day. Indeed, he listens to my whims, whines, and worries and his candidness, most of the time, is sincere. He is my neutral when my PMS is in overdrive.

All I have ever sought is simplicity. Just when I thought aliens didn't exist, he entered my galaxy. I am thankful, because everyday with him is a holiday.

Lesson: Grasshopper if you can grasp that a knot is just a series of circles and loops than you will solve the meaning of life.