Nesting

For those of you who are able to nest, consider yourselves lucky. I, on the other hand, live in limbo land. I live in a land of delays, permits, construction, and spontaneity. I live in a chaotic world that is ever changing and evolving. As we anticipate for the permits to go through, which may arrive at any moment, we will be forced to seek shelter in another home. Seeking shelter is not a problem as our resources are plenty. It’s adapting to another environment that reeks.

This pregnant woman is mourning the one important aspect of having a child. That is the nesting period. I believe that I am secretly and silently freaking out, but mums the word. I mean I should be relaxing and taking it easy, but in the back of my mind the rumbling of the storm is brewing. The thought of moving into another home and turning that into a cozy household only to move one last time into the house that we were previously in is really menacing.

Shellie’s Proverb: A zebra with no stripes is just a horse.
I should look on the bright side. A year from now, we’ll be in a beautiful home that we’ll never have to depart, but I live in the moment. The forecast for the next six months should be positive, but all I can feel is anxiety. Is this good for the pregnancy? Is it good for me? I have put off looking at baby essentials to avoid the packing and moving nonsense never mind looking into a nursery. There are worse things in the world like soldiers dying in Iraq for an invalid purpose that is unknown to me, but come on.

Shane’s positive with the future. Sometimes I would even say clueless from my perspective. It’s different now. It’s different, because we have a potential baby that will throw a wrench into the spokes. I believe he’s doing his best to provide a home for us and I honestly appreciate his efforts, although I cringe at the idea.

I am trying my best to make my first pregnancy a memorable event, but it’s really hard knowing we’re going to be nomads. Is it selfish? Is it normal? I never had a nursery when I was born so what’s the big ordeal? Am I being absolutely yuppie? I chose this life from the beginning. That's right, I’m not walking into a brick wall knowing that I did not have a thing or two to do with piling the bricks. Buying houses just to flip it was convenient for the bank account, but is now fluent to my insanity. Sob.

Lesson: An organized Grasshopper can never predict fate.