As my belly begins to rise like a round piece of dough so my wardrobe becomes hideously limited. I’ve been fighting the world of elastic waistband, empire cut blouses, and baby doll dresses. Instead, I’ve been coercing my waistline to squeeze into my usuals. Does the term, “Snap into a Slim Jim,” come to mind? I’ve dabbled into the maternity clothing galaxy, and I’m appalled by the cost and the production. Designers are making a whopping kill on such drab outfits. Well except for the Gap, because they have such adorable shrugs and chunky sweaters. Although Paper Denim, Habituals, Diane Von Furstenberg have all jumped on the band wagon. It’s incredibly horrible.
Some people knit while others crochet, but I prefer the art of sewing. Last week, I stopped by the fabric store to select some really fabulous material. I will proceed to sew my maternity clothes while my short legs can still reach the pedal. Why not? I enjoy sewing and I’ve been doing it since the seventh grade. If you observe very carefully, most maternity clothing entail elastic and empire waistline. So it won’t be too long before my wardrobe will expand to match my waistline.
Purely, I am not vain, yet I like to be polished? Not a crime. This body is blowing up like a hot air balloon and I refuse to look like a galoot when it happens. I’m okay with my portliness, but is it a felony to be stylish? Why should I give in to stretchy polyester blends or gabardines? Therefore, I will remain true to myself. I will not give into the dark forces of drab stretch cotton and velour scoop neck blouses.
Instead of decompressing in front of the television, I can do both! I can simultaneously be lazy and productive, the perfect antithesis. Designer I’m not, seamstress I’m barely. I have an empty closet to fill, regardless, these clothes are not a one time showing. The Kitchens are procreating for humanity.
Lesson: Smart grasshopper must learn to make rice before he can eat it.
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