The truth is always a surprise!

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I cannot preface the abundant surprises that I incur everyday. It's truly amazing. A miracle. Am I ridding myself of this larvae existence and finally getting my medal to butterfly? I am privileged to experience such an opportunity to morph.

I'm sure you've come to your wits end listening about how my stomach is growing, but it's stretching at epic proportions! It's like a huge solid growing ball. Kitchstar hasn't started doing the Irish jig in my belly, yet there has been moments of minimal cramping like a quick pinching jolt. Is it normal? It makes sense, the body is accommodating growth spurts by stretching and pulling. Furthermore, an occasional sneeze sometimes sends additional pain in the core of my belly! Pregnancy and painless? Gimme a break sister. Note to self, please inquire with Dr. Sue McDonald as to the normality of this cramping.

Headaches. Apparently, it's common during the first trimester, but hello I'm in my second. Personally, I could do without the torture. Headaches? I get them once a year. Lately, they're as common as fruit flys in the summer. I don't understand, I've been indulging in many glasses of water a day. I eat well. I receive ample rest. I'm finally regular, but I won't mention the personality of my stool samples which are completely miraculous themselves. I must make an appointment with my Chinese acupuncturist. I adore eastern medicine it is utterly amazing. The evidence is clear, just look at the average life span of a Chinese person.

Shellie's Proverb: A plant with no fruit is unbearable.
Got leakage? Exactly. It's disgusting! My faucet downstairs drip, drips, drippin'. Normal? Honestly, it's like my urine seal is dysfunctional. Oddly enough, it's not urine. It's stuff of milky consistency. Blah, yuck, eek! Oh, the horror! Today, I walked from my office to the bathroom and every alternate stride a squirt of liquid gave way. I was befuddled! Has my bladder gone weak? What the phuu? As I sat in the bathroom stall, slacks off and panties down, urine was not my culprit, it was milky. No, it wasn't an infection that consisted of feta cheese or any dairy curd of the sort, it was white liquid. Note to self, please mention the daily discharge to Dr. Sue McDonald.

Furthermore, bosoms, boobs, whiffle balls, in the scientific term, breasts are lawless. How do women do it? I went from flat to fluff riding on the rails that it could be frisky. Nay, this pair is weighty and nipples are pout it could blind Helen Keller. One word, cumbersome. Jesus lord of bras, show me the way? I hear you naggy women rolling your eyes in the background, "Sheeyat, have fun with them? Dress'em up!" I do dress up except directly south there's a heap of rising belly that's as discreet as the great wall of China.

I have come to accept that every woman is different, yet I know I am not alone. Isolated incident? Not by the hair of my chiny chin chin. What the future has up it's mischievous sleeve is just a sunrise away. Thus far, I am very fortunate to be experiencing a healthy pregnancy. My heart goes out to those women who haven't had such luck. For those of you who have romanticized pregnancy, I used to be that way too until surprises began to sprout like warts on a witches nose. If they are any other women who can vouch for my transition, "holluh!" Indeed, pregnancy is a miracle and I look forward to embracing every swelling inch of it.

Lesson: A Grasshopper that doesn't remain on his toes will never be surprised.