Shane always had the freedom to do anything and the same for me. Recently, it just came to slap me in the face. Since the birth of Hunter, I made a point to establish the romance in our relationship, hence date night. As having a nanny has its benefits, alas it comes with a cost of a pretty shiny penny. We have many friends and family that have step forth to baby sit, but it is a delicate situation when it comes to last minute situations without coming off inconsiderate. Ideally, to enhance our marriage, I thought it important to introduce date night, which excluded Hunter, into our lives.
Early Friday evening as I lightly dust blush on my cheeks Shane mutters, “Oh Anthony says he won’t watch Hunter unless I go out with him after the movie.”
“Well I guess we’re not going out then.” Shane’s friend was newly dumped by his hot girlfriend of three years. I thought it be a good idea that Shane play wing man after our date night like laying in the path of a python.
I shlepped into my pajamas and plopped on the couch.
“What are you doing?”
“We’re staying home.” I browsed through five Netflix videos that collected dust for months. Staying home sounded welcoming, since the weather was dreary.
“Don’t be silly go get ready, he’ll be here soon.”
“No serious, we can stay home. Call the dogs off. Besides, I don’t want you going out with him after the movie. This is our night. I don’t mind.”
He huffed, “We’re going to the movies. Now go change.”
I hiked up the stairs and made a wardrobe change. I must admit I was slightly singed with the deal my babysitter had proposed. Doesn’t he have other friends? Rude.
“You know your husband’s coming out with me when you guys come back right?” The bull headed dumpster was absolute.
“I don’t think so?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Well, not unless you want us to get a divorce than sure he’s going out.”
“I had other things up my sleeve after our date.” How could one end a date without the assuming the biblical?
“No, he’s coming out with me. You guys don’t have sex anyway.” It was no surprise
why this person successfully fails flawlessly in his relationships, lack of perspective perhaps?
Shane remained quiet waiting for the decision.
No Country for Old Men was a smash, we had such a nice time together. I savored the richness of our time. We went to some restaurant and topped off the evening with a glass of champagne and some appetizers. The evening was early and to be a nice wife, as usual, I vowed to let Shane join the dumpee. I lay whole heartedly in the way of the sharp jagged fangs of disappointment.
Most women would put their foot down. I, on the other hand, put my husband’s happiness before my own. I allowed him to continue his lifestyle with no risk to responsibility or commitment to his family. Hence, my failure is my leniency.
Meanwhile a couple hours later back at the cave, I had a text war with ex babysitter. I turbulently disposed my displaced anger on the dumpster, he shot back, “You’re overreacting, so what he saw you calling and he didn’t pick up,” it was apparent why he was brilliantly single, “blame your husband for coming out.” I stopped in my tracks. Subsequent to throwing his wing man under the bus, he is precisely right! Shane is gregarious and very well respected, but the idea of marriage and family hasn’t come to fruition. My calls went ignored which ensued the release of the ferocious beast from within. I made sure Shane came out bruised and scathed as I grappled with the dark idea of divorce. I couldn’t see straight at two thirty in the morning.
Mister Carr, Shane’s long time buddy, said it best, “Perhaps, this is something you pent up.” Brief and concise, he was grossly smug, but precisely correct!
Side bet: I would like to see any of his buddies pull off a Shane without being disembowled by their wives first. They're on lock down more than they precede.)It was true. I held it all in. Was I submissive all this time? I am a fools’ fool. I allowed him to gad about on his many boy trips of football, golf, snowboarding, boy time with not a phone call to me.
I have prefaced my importance of these phone calls before, but I have gone days without a phone call. Days. I was always mild mannered, turning a blind eye. Any other, would have been butchered with a serrated knife. Instead I greet him with a hug. In essence, he never had to face the wrath of a woman’s worry. I bottled my anger so beautifully deep, that Friday night just blew the mother ship wide open. He nor I never saw it coming.
I thought our parameters were understood under the respects of consideration, but I was wrong. I never threw my arms around like a gorilla and battered him with threats and consequences. I could be a monster and put a stop to his fun. Why? That wouldn’t make me feel better and it wouldn’t contribute to a healthy marriage. I'm tired of playing the doormat. I bid death to the “cool” wife routine. He will quickly realize how good he had it. Aretha belt it out sister friend, "respect!"
In the end, I understand that marriage is an ever changing entity. Furthermore, a child plays an integral part to this anomaly called balance. In this day and age, dashing through a McDonald’s drive thru and getting a super size divorce seems convenient. I, on the other hand, choose to fight for love. Naturally, divorce scrambles through my brain, but love always prevails. Thus our loves deserves to bloom and a change is in order. How else would we grow closer, but to grow in change.
This is Shellie watering my backyard roots back to you Bob at the studio!
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