The Daily Woman

"You make me feel like dancing, dance the night away, you make me feel like dancen! Whew! Dancin' whew..." The alarm dazzles me with disco. I spring out of bed at 5:55am. The warm water runs down my head, my energy level jolts into a motorcycle wheelie! I’m so thrilled to go to work, yet I’m not embarrassed to admit it, to myself that is. The series of tasks begin to grease the tiny wheels in my tiny brain, but not in a, "ouch there's a shard of glass in my eyeball!" Outside the sun has yet to greet the sky and those filthy flying rat rodents we call pidgeons remain unseen.


Make haste and make way you peasants for the former queen of slackers has shed her scales!

I was not a morning person. In fact, m’aam I’ll have the early bird special please? As a matter of truth, I was that person that snoozed until bats became warm fuzzy house pets. My friends and family’s eyes would burst out of their sockets, if they got hold of this news. They'd probably place odds and bets on how long I would be able to sustain this routine.

There’s something about being one step ahead of people that energizes this tortoise. I mean think about it no lines at the coffee shop, the train is empty. As soon as I get to work, I hit the ground running. Smile. Best of all, I get off work earlier than all the other losers. That leaves the gym, which right across the street from my building, to be empty as well!

Immediately from the shower, I make way to give Shane the shakedown. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter! I grab his shoulders and give him a gentle baby syndrome shake. He's like one of thos plastic baby dalls when you yank the chord they speak and crawl. Shane muddles on about where in the hell do I get this energy from.

In plastic crawling baby robot fashion, he proceeds to the kitchen to make his sandwich. I take that back, 2 sandwiches. He packs both of us a low fat cottage cheese with berries toasted slivered almonds with a swirl of honey in a tight air tupperware. Onto the coffee shop for his monstrous bottled water and a short double nonfat latte with a tiny squirt of vanilla.

Than as we drive down the crest of Dolores and 25th Street the sun begins to peel the darkness from the sky. As most of San Francisco is pressing their snooze button, we witness the birth of a beautiful day.

Lesson: Grasshopper should always pack a lunch that way body no go hungry and mind no go crazy.