If you must inquire, we have successfully moved the baby date up to next month. This body is not getting any younger. I need to push them babies out or I can go totally Hollywood and conveniently have a c section. It's go time. Tick tock.
In this day and age, having a healthy womb is all the rage! What the phhh? No kidding. Gone are the heyday of second hand smoke intake. Women are ridding their system clean of all toxins, preservatives, poison that may effect the baby and the pregnancy. It's a whacky world out there. Women are popping pre-natal pills like popcorn. Let's not omit the panic for organic products. Hiss pesticides beware. An acupuncturists is vital alongwith rasberry leaf tea for a clean and healthy uterus. Women are mastering their fertility domain. Never mind a healthy body...giving birth naturally or in water is another trend! My blood pressure is soaring and I'm having heart palpatations. Where do I begin!
I believe in being prepared and knowledgable, but good lord what next? Contacting the aliens from mars hoping to get an interplanetary birth? That's been done too! Hello Tom "scificrazyologist" Cruise. Here's the deal. Why are we, as women, trying so hard to be ridiculous? I am a product of freestyle conception (short for catholic parents). What happened to a healthy accident? Spontaneity anyone? A tear in a condom. Forgetting to take your birth control pill. Tequila and cigarettes. The best thing about having a child should be making it? Am I right? Why all the ballyhoo?
By the way, I am looking foward to my hot date with my chinese herbalist next week.
Lesson: A wise grasshopper must gauge the potency of his enemy's poison by the film on his teeth.
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