At work, I frantically waited, wondering, talking to myself. Pacing back and forth, like a mental patient in a ward. The scenarios in my head were horrific and terrifying. I kept hoping for the best, but the negative dark lord kept appearing unwelcomed.
Excuse me nurse? I'll have my litheum now? Like a stalker pining for a former lover, I dialed his cell every five seconds. My jaw was tight and my eyes were stern. I couldn't work like this! I had my bosses itinerary to produce minus any errors, and I couldn't see straight. Besides, my stomach kept yelling, "cereal, please. Excuse me? Can I have my cereal now?" I kept silencing that noise with caffeine, but my damn hunger had a two gauge to my stomach, holding it hostage. I just needed to know, has my sweetie passed this darn exam? I required certainty so I can move on. I mean so -we- can move on. Can I get a sign? A flying donkey past my office window will suffice.
Subsequent to pulling off a perfect vertical 180 stalker air off the top of my brain dome, he finally answered. He calmly replied, "I passed." Phew. Hallelujah, praise Jesus and all his gaggle of winged pals. Be gone you shadows and ghouls from my cell pad of a mind! I bid you begone! Please beam me up! Now. I foresee a happy hour full of beautiful top shelf tequila. They're calling to me.
Congratulations Shane Kitchen! You are the final high bidder to my sane heart! I knew you could do it. Smile. Pitter. Patter.
Lesson: A grounded Grasshopper must learn to jump hurdles and dodge rice bowls as they come.
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